Anytime?

In a cold sweat I awake to the sounds of your screams. My heart is aching, in my dream I cannot save you. Now that I am wake it seems you are still too fear away. I leap up from our bed looking first in our room, then onto our kid’s rooms. With no sign of them or you I begin to really panic now. I feel my pressure escalating, sweat trickling down my back & down the crack of my ass. I ran to the window that overlooked the garage I saw your car still parked like you left it the night before. I stare at your car waiting for the answer to come to just as you had on that joyous winter morning. Suddenly I see the light from a cell phone appear in the darkness. I scream your name & began banging on the window profusely. I know you heard me, I heard my own echo, yet you never acknowledged I spoke. You went on as if I weren’t there. I jumped up & down waving my arms like a baby chick just learning to leave its nest. Still no reaction, I finally decide to go down to too what was going on. Why are you acting this way toward me? What did I do? How could you ignore me, thought I was special, different? As I ran to the end of the driveway I realized you were on your way back up the driveway. One not paying attention & two not caring, I stood face to face with the Hood of the Denali. I seem to be transparent it’s going right threw me. At that very moment I realized that I was not nor was I ever a good match for you. I consistently tried to save at times even from yourself. My heart aching is not of a broken one. Simply because you were too busy, almost like you were incapable of seeing me. Too busy looking past me while I looked for objects set in your way. Moving things in your path that would act as a distraction so you could focus. Focus on me for once. Is it hard to focus on me because you never see me only the things I do without explanation their done, Anytime? It’s difficult to see someone when you are consistently taking from them until there is nothing left to see.